


For All the Love You Left Behind (You Can Have Mine)

by hops



Series: the only life you could save [21]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 22:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17191673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hops/pseuds/hops
Summary: When Taako gets home from his whirlwind, close-call quest, Magnus gets a long-awaited visit.Magnus has more than a cuddle. Taako can't sleep. Julia is remembered.





	For All the Love You Left Behind (You Can Have Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Like Chilean miners emerging, I return to you, my beloved readers of TOLYCS... 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed The Reckoning Arrives! This takes place soon after, though I'm writing a little out of order.  
> Don't read this without Reckoning! It won't make any goddamn sense. 
> 
> Title from "Call it Dreaming" by Iron & Wine

The door of Magnus’s home opens and closes, drawing his attention away from his dishes and to the front door. He towels off his hands as footsteps come down the hall; he’s not expecting visitors, but his family is known to show up announced and barge in. Their time on the Starblaster had taught them as much.

As the steps pick up their pace, he turns to the doorway, and there: Taako, flying into his arms, kissing him with his mouth stuck in his dazzling, toothy smile. He sighs and his heart stirs and flutters; it’d been a long few days without him, his presence missing from his time with Kravitz and Angus. But Taako’s home now, and he’s kissing him, and it’s so nice. It makes up for the absence all at once. 

“Maggie,” Taako says softly, and it nearly melts Magnus’s heart. Taako reaches up to cup his face in his palm and kisses him again. “Oh, Maggie, I’m sorry I left—” 

Magnus grins, chuckles, takes Taako’s hand on his face into both of his and holds on tight. “Naw, you’re here now.” And, he can’t help but tease: “You can make it up to me,” with a wink. 

Taako kisses him again, slower this time. Savoring each other. For a moment, he wants to ask where Kravitz is, and then a jolt to his stomach reminds him that there’s something to say there, too, and maybe not right now. Right now was for him and Taako, alone, together. 

Taako takes Magnus’s face into both hands this time and looks at him with unfamiliar intensity. Magnus is suddenly shy, his cheeks hot as Taako blinks, then looks away, drawing him closer. Taako holds him for a moment long enough for Magnus to breathe, “Baby,” to draw his attention back. 

“Oh, Maggie,” Taako says, his voice breaking on his name. “I missed you.” 

“Hey, easy now. I’m right here, huh? Not goin’ anywhere.” He rubs Taako’s back. “As for you, mister world traveler…” 

Taako shakes his head. “I’m so sorry,” he apologizes again. When Magnus takes his wrists and rocks him back and forth with him, Taako looks up at him like he’s a walking miracle. 

“C’mon, none of that. Let’s go sit, huh? You can tell me about the book tour.” 

As he starts to lead Taako into the living room, Taako laughs, sounding uneasy. “That’s about the last thing I wanna talk about right now. How about  _ you  _ tell me about all the fun I missed?”

That makes it Magnus’s turn to sound uneasy. Yeah, the fun he missed: Magnus telling Kravitz he’s in love with him, too? Where to even begin? Another day, maybe. Taako looks tired, and rest is one thing Magnus can definitely provide. 

“Or, if you’re tired, we can just cuddle,” Magnus offers, and Taako snorts, maybe seeing through his hesitation. 

“Cuddle,” Taako repeats with exaggeration and air quotes. As he knocks into Magnus lazily to tease, they laugh together. When Taako looks up at him again, Magnus waggles his eyebrows. 

“Well, I figured you didn’t burn the spell slot to sleep on the couch.” 

Taako laughs louder this time, that precious crack that always sends them laughing even harder breaking through. “No, I didn’t.” 

But there’s no rush tonight; just the two of them and what’s left of the day and the whole house to themselves. Magnus flops down on the couch and Taako follows soon after, settling into a comfortable position to just  _ relax.  _

After a long, comfortable while, Taako sits up and takes both of Magnus’s hands into his. He traces the lines of his palms, draws a little heart in the center, tickles up his fingers and makes Magnus laugh. 

Taako gazes at him for a long moment, so much longer than usual. He’s always moving, diverting, keeping everyone’s eyes where he wants them. A magician protecting his tricks. But now, Taako just leans on the couch, his elbow propped up atop the cushion, taking in the sight of him. Magnus blushes and heat spreads down from his face to his chest. 

Magnus finally laughs a little, feeling self-conscious. “What?” he asks, a goofy thing that just comes out soft and boyish. When Taako smiles at him, it’s the warmest golden glow. A whole sunlit century that haloes their love, always. 

“Just lookin’,” Taako says simply. Fondly. 

Magnus laughs a little more. “Like what you see?” He teases, waggling his eyebrows once again. 

“Always do,” Taako answers, leaning in close. Magnus watches his eyes flutter shut for a split second before leaning close and kissing him, his lips parted, Taako’s hot breath on his mouth. 

Taako takes Magnus’s face into his slender hands, trails his fingers down his cheeks, brushes his thumb on Magnus’s bottom lip between kisses. And Magnus’s tongue darts out to tell him  _ Yes, yes, I’m here, I want you too.  _ Taako’s grin that follows feels just right against his mouth.

Things move quickly after that. His shirt winds up in a heap with Taako’s, their pants following closely after. They fumble and laugh like forever ago; no magic, no new tricks, just the two of them and their hands and their bodies and their love, a lifetime old and another yet to live. 

They kiss, and “Taako, Taako,  _ Taako _ ,” pours out of him as a river. Taako rocks forward on him, his erection a giveaway beneath the lace he’s wearing. Magnus’s hands roam and Taako lets him touch, lets him move him where he wants him, and Magnus knows what he wants now, and his mouth goes dry, and his heart starts pounding.

“Fuck me,” Taako says breathlessly, his head tossed back, the perfect column of his neck exposed and just waiting for Magnus’s mouth. 

“Yes,” Magnus blurts out, clumsily, eagerly. He darts up to kiss and suck along the skin up to Taako’s earlobe, holding tightly onto his hips, just the thin layers of fabric keeping their cocks from each other. “Yes, whatever you want—“ 

“Need _ ,”  _ Taako interrupts breathlessly. “I _ need  _ you _ ,”  _ and it makes Magnus’s heart burst in his chest. 

Taako wraps his arms around him and tangles his hands in his hair, pulls tight, moans when Magnus cries out in response. He’s pushing down insistently, kissing the same way, and it’s like Taako is starving, like he can’t get enough. 

Then he tugs at the waistband of Magnus’s underwear and whines impatiently, and Magnus chuckles and stands up to take them off, because Taako always gets what he wants, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He helps Taako shimmy out of his underwear too, and then they’re naked, just staring at each other. An elated smile touches Magnus’s face as a rush of emotion takes him. 

“Hey,” he says, grinning. He reaches both hands for Taako and he takes them, allowing Magnus to hoist him up off the couch. “I love you.” 

Taako smiles that dazzling, crowd-pleaser smile, and it’s all for him. But Magnus doesn’t expect the sudden rush of tears to Taako’s eyes. 

“Oh,” Magnus says softly, reaching for Taako without thinking and pulling his face close. “No, no, oh, baby,” he whispers. 

Taako shakes his head and lets out a watery laugh. “Nope, not— no, I just, I love you too, big guy.” He traces a finger over Magnus’s chest hair. Slowly, he trails his hand down to Magnus’s cock, taking it into his grip. “Help a fella out?” 

When Magnus looks at him again, the tears are gone as soon as they’d came. He nods and takes Taako’s dick into his hand too, feeling in jump, wanting to feel it pressed to his stomach, wanting to feel him closer than close. 

“Please, Magnus,” Taako says, lusty and suddenly serious. Magnus nods.

He lifts him easily, allowing Taako to wrap his legs around Magnus’s waist. Taako whimpers as he hooks one arm around Magnus’s neck and his free hand on his cock, not wasting any time. 

“Can you—“ but Taako’s read his mind, casting a spell to get his fingers and his cock slick. Magnus presses him hard to the wall. 

He nods and slips into him slowly with one finger, taking in the tiny noises Taako makes. Then, he starts to fuck him with one finger, then two, and then, as he’s stretching him with three, Taako pushes down impatiently, and Magnus knows.

Taako brings Magnus to his opening and waits, his chest laboring with every breath as Magnus locks eyes with him. A hot pang of arousal takes Magnus’s gut. 

“Taako,” he murmurs, watching his expression move from anticipatory to urgent, his eyes squeezing shut. He pulls Magnus closer. 

He presses his forehead to Taako’s and closes the space between them. His cock slips along the curve of Taako’s ass and Taako lets out a soft cry of frustration at the tease. Usually he’s the one doing the teasing, Magnus thinks, tugged forward by the desire to take care of Taako, to cover him in all the love he’s got. But it’s his turn tonight, his turn to take care of Taako, just as Taako takes care of him. 

Taako nips at his earlobe with tiny sounds between each kiss. He moans as Magnus presses against his opening, Magnus so serious this time; Taako wraps his legs tighter around his waist and Magnus sinks into him slowly, both of them drawing a huge breath. Taako cries out and he looks so beautiful. He’s so beautiful. Magnus can’t stop looking at him. 

And then Taako gazes up at him as Magnus slides the rest of the way in, and there’s something about the way he’s looking at Magnus, something about his brows drawn slightly upward, his lips parted as if to speak, but never speaking. Taako pushes himself forward with a roll of his hips and reaches the base of Magnus’s cock; he shudders at the size of it, the fullness of it, and Magnus feels him tighten around him before he starts thrusting. 

“Fuck,” Taako whispers, the word broken in his mouth. He cries out again and pulls Magnus in close, tucking himself into Magnus’s neck and gripping onto his back. The sharp bite of Taako’s nails goes straight to Magnus’s cock, propelling him forward into fucking Taako harder. “Maggie— Maggie—” Taako whines, starving for him, and fuck, Magnus missed this, missed having Taako all to himself, so close, so deep inside him, Taako’s erection pressed between their stomachs. “Mag—” 

Magnus’s voice drops to a raw whisper. “I’ve got you. Right here.” 

He adjusts and holds Taako’s ass in his palms. He always forgets how light Taako is, how he can lift him so easily and let his long legs wrap around him tight. He presses Taako harder to the wall with a small thud. Taako cries out as Magnus pushes just a little deeper than before. 

“Oh, oh baby,” Taako whimpers, his breath gone. Magnus rocks him back against the wall and watches his brow draw even further, his cock throbbing between them as Magnus moves against him. Taako approaches unintelligible as he moans, “Please,” and “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too,” Magnus mouths against Taako’s neck. He drags his tongue along the warm, soft shell of his ear and Taako shudders. It starts burning in the pit of Magnus’s stomach like it always does, fucking Taako, listening to the little sounds he makes, the way all the pet names and pleading fall from his mouth so freely the more he ruts into him. And fuck, it’s so much as Taako leans back against the wall, Magnus following forward as Taako arches his back. He takes Magnus’s face into his hands, panting. Waiting. 

“Maggie,” Taako barely manages to whimper. “Maggie, Maggie—” and Taako’s hands tangle in his hair, trying to take Magnus’s attention away from his face, but Magnus gets close enough that there’s nowhere for Taako to look but into his eyes. As Magnus keeps him there, fucking him, holding him, pushing him back against the wall, following his gaze for just one extra moment, Taako’s eyes flood with tears, just like before. “M— M—”

Magnus slows to a stop, his grip faltering for a moment before he gets Taako back up against the wall. 

“No, no, please,” Taako pants. Magnus rests inside him, every cell in his body begging for more of Taako, but knowing that he needs to hold back. “Please don’t stop.” 

Magnus nudges Taako’s head back against the wall with a kiss that tips his chin upwards. When he pushes Taako up a little further, Taako cups his face in his hands, tighter this time, his bottom lip trembling. 

“Honey,” Magnus murmurs, his voice low and rough as he nuzzles at Taako’s chin. “What is it?” 

Taako shakes his head. There’s so much in his eyes that the sight of him makes Magnus’s stomach turn. A decades-old sense of something  _ off  _ returning to him with the memory of so many nights that felt like this one, the cycles where one of them died, the cycles of close calls and failed missions. The way they used to fuck like they were the only ones left in the galaxy, everything else coming and going, but always coming back to each other. 

It hasn’t been long since the last time Taako had stayed the night, but it’s been a while since it’s just been the two of them. Maybe that’s what this is, coming back to what they know. Taako’s missed him, and now he’s back. He’s here. He’s clutching onto him just how he used to, his arms and legs wrapped right around his head and waist. Magnus still rests inside him and moans as Taako adjusts his position. 

Taako sniffs and lets out a thin whine. He kisses Magnus’s neck with long, slow kisses, dragging his tongue along the skin and taking the time to taste him and breathe him in. Magnus takes a moment to appreciate the smell of him, too, like soap— the one Magnus had gotten him from a shopkeeper in the Roost— and spices, and sex.

“Bed?” Taako asks softly. 

Magnus lets out a long breath in agreement and presses a gentle kiss to Taako’s cheek. He pulls out and they both moan at the separation. When he sets Taako down on the floor, he runs his hands back up Magnus’s stomach, his fingers combing through the dark hair that trails from his chest to his cock. 

Taako is about to take Magnus’s cock into his hand when Magnus touches two fingers to his chin and tips it up to look at him. 

“I love you,” Magnus says, earnest. “I love you so much, Taako.” 

Taako just nods, the hard line of his bottom lip beginning to tremble. Magnus sees the tiny wobble of Taako’s posture and steadies him by the elbow, then simply scoops him up into his arms. Taako lets out a teary, surprised laugh and presses his face to Magnus’s shoulder. 

“I need you,” Taako breathes over his skin.

Magnus hums in agreement, a tall wave of lust washing over him, pulling his erection back out of its lull. He walks carefully through the hall and pushes open the door to his bedroom,  _ their  _ bedroom, and lays Taako out on the center of the bed. As he turns to go back and close the door, Taako whines from the mattress, pushing his hips upwards, and Magnus can’t help but smile when he gets like this for him. It’s so rare that Taako’s the one to get all hot and desperate, or to let go of his control like this. 

He shuts the door and turns back to Taako. His golden hair is splayed out on the pillows behind him, his back arched slightly upward, as if drawn up by Magnus’s presence alone. Taako’s eyes flutter open and he blinks before reaching up for Magnus with one hand and pulling him into bed, on top of him. 

“Please,” Taako says urgently, traces of tears still glimmering in his eyes in the dim light of the bedroom. Magnus gets himself slick and presses the head of his cock against his entrance, but not moving any further.  “Oh, please, Maggie— I— please—” Taako moans, pitching up into cries as he tries to press down onto Magnus but Magnus eases away from him. 

“Get on your stomach,” Magnus says, voice raw from his throat gone dry and all the desire rising from his stomach and onto his tongue. Taako does, and as soon as Magnus grabs his waist— fuck, he’s so small, his body pliable under Magnus’s broad hands— he pulls him back onto his cock and sinks all the way inside him again. 

Taako lets out a loud, unholy sound at the feeling of him and it tears through Magnus with unexpected force. He grits his teeth as he fucks Taako harder. All the sounds trying to burst out of him are blocked by the knot in his throat. 

“Fuck,” Magnus manages to moan. He leans forward over Taako so his chest is pressed to Taako’s back and his mouth is on the nape of his neck. He kisses a line to his shoulder and rests his forehead there and looks down at Taako’s body, his ass pushing back insistently against him, the slight sheen of sweat on his tan skin. “Taako,” Magnus breathes, because he doesn’t remember any other words anymore. Just this, just Taako, just who he’s always needed since the day he stepped foot on the Starblaster, just the man he’s always loved. Just the body he knows exactly how to… 

_ “Fuck me!”  _ Taako finally cries, pushing back harder against Magnus. Magnus grits his teeth and wraps one arm around Taako’s waist. “Fuck me, fuck me, oh, Magnus, fuck—!” 

He pulls Taako up so they’re both up on their knees, using the new position to trail his hand over Taako’s chest and roll one of his nipples between two thick fingers. Taako shudders and arches back against him, his neck resting on Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus kisses his neck. His skin is so soft, smells so sweet and spicy, a little damp with sweat. The beginnings of an orgasm start to take hold of him by the hot pit of his stomach. 

“Yes,” Magnus breathes, and Taako nods in return. “Yes, I wanna touch you.” 

Taako loops his arms up over his head and loops around the back of Magnus’s neck. He pushes back against him again. “Yes, yes, touch me. I— I—” 

Magnus wraps his hand around the base of Taako’s cock and it jumps so hard in response that Magnus thinks for a moment that he might already be coming. Taako shouts and ruts into Magnus’s hand, which then causes him to grind back against his hips, and he’s between Magnus’s fist and his cock and Magnus can barely take the closeness of it, the tight heat of him around his cock, his slim body pressed to his broad one. 

“Baby,” Magnus starts, but Taako cries out and it steals all his breath. 

Taako reaches a hand up behind him and buries it in Magnus’s thick hair. He tugs with enough force to draw a louder moan from Magnus. When Taako draws a deep, shaky breath, Magnus regains just enough composure to open his eyes and peek at Taako as he screws his eyes shut, throws his head back, and pushes back against Magnus as he buckles. Magnus strokes him harder and Taako cries out desperately, the sound breaking and teetering on the edge of a scream. 

“Baby— I love— I need— I’m gonna—” Taako pants helplessly. 

Magnus’s throat feels tight with emotion as he thrusts into Taako with the last of his strength. He strokes him steadily, a little harder, a little tighter. And then suddenly Taako is coming in his hand, just like that, bucking against him, raspy cries and curses flying from his mouth. He makes a mess of Magnus’s hand as it drips down his knuckles; Magnus waits for Taako to fall back limp against him before wiping his hand on the sheets. Taako would prestidigitate it all away later anyway. 

“Oh, baby,” Taako whimpers. Magnus moves swiftly as he slips out of him— still hard, but it can wait— and Taako cries out one more time at the sudden absence. He helps Taako onto his back and lays down close beside him. 

Taako’s lip trembles once again as he cradles Magnus’s face in his hands. When he doesn’t say anything, Magnus reaches out and touches Taako’s cheek, too. He wonders what’s happening in his head, why this sudden starving rush to his body, what happened this past week that had everyone acting so… it almost reminds him of those last few years on the Starblaster, the secrets kept, the feelings withheld, nobody talking to each other. He just hopes it’s not as bad as he thought it might be. 

Taako draws his attention back to the present as he trails his hands down Magnus’s chest and to his waist. He lets out a long, deep sigh at Taako’s lithe grip. 

Taako just barely murmurs, “Yeah?” before starting to stroke Magnus steadily. His arousal is just where he left it, white hot and ready to snap at any moment. 

“I’m not— I can’t—” Magnus groans, his voice pitching upwards with urgency. He feels his orgasm building and he’s so tempted to chase the heat of it, to let go of any remaining control and turn to putty in Taako’s hands like he’s meant to be. “Don’t stop!” he moans, but Taako stops anyway and pulls away. 

Magnus lets out a long, impatient cry as Taako shifts around him. He comes to straddle Magnus’s thighs and hovers over his cock for a moment, trailing a finger over the tip. Magnus is sure Taako has gotten on top of him to stroke him off from there, but Taako lifts himself up and takes Magnus by the base of his cock and— oh, gods, he’s going to keep fucking him, Magnus realizes. delirious with want. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, Taako casts another spell and gets Magnus wet for him, and then that’s it, that’s all he has to do, he takes him all the way in again, rocking back and forth, tilting his hips up and down to fuck his cock exactly how he wants to, exactly how he knows Magnus needs it. He always knows, Magnus thinks, the room spinning as re reaches up to grab Taako’s waist and pull him down. 

And easy as that, he feels the first sparks of the raging fire to come in his gut. Taako rolls his hips in a circle and puts both hands flat on Magnus’s chest, tensing, clutching on tight. He pushes down onto Magnus and stays there for a moment, Magnus’s cock twitching hard inside him. 

“Maggie…” Taako breathes, trembling. Magnus’s hands twitch and grip him tighter. He lifts his hips up off the bed to meet his movements. 

That’s what does Magnus in. As Taako bounces on him, Magnus closes his eyes tight, clenches his jaw, chases the pounding in his chest all the way down to his cock, and Taako’s looking down at him with his messy hair and glassy eyes and his cheeks flushed pink and he’s so beautiful and he’s crying out too and all he feels is him, is Taako, Taako, who loves him, who’s the only thing he— 

He comes all at once, his orgasm building so quickly that it blindsides him. He shouts as he empties inside Taako and feels the tight heat of him as he throbs and shudders. He quivers and clings to Taako, breath shuddering. They’re still for a long moment as they both try to catch their breath; Taako leans forward and pulls off of him slowly as he begins to soften, and as Taako moves down and straddles one of his thighs to cuddle, he feels the mess between his legs that he’s left behind. 

His face blushes bright red. “Sorry,” he breathes, still winded from his orgasm. 

“Don’t be,” Taako smirks. But then, his expression softens. “I’ve been waiting to get you alone y’know. I just… missed this.”

“Me too,” Magnus says softly, trying not to show the small inkling of concern that comes at Taako yet again mentioning missing him. He tips his chin up and waits for a kiss, which comes with a tiny smile. 

Eventually they untangle and clean up, Taako’s magic coming in handy as always. When Magnus looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, his lips are pink and slightly swollen from their kisses. Tiny bruises litter his collarbone. 

After they get back into bed and share a long warm silence, Taako says, “I’m sorry I had to dip at the last second.” 

Magnus shakes his head silently, looking at him with intense, sincere eyes. There’s nothing for Taako to be sorry for. He’s here now, (naked, glowing, sleepy, handsome), and that’s what matters. 

“I thought about you so much while I was gone, though,” Taako whispers. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

Magnus wants to ask him, so badly, what he was thinking about. And what he’s thinking now— all the things in those unreadable eyes, all the words he’s tucking into the pulse of his jaw— but something keeps him silent too, as they gaze at each other. 

“You know—” and some deep hesitation pulls Taako’s mouth closed for another long moment. “I… I went ‘cause I had to? And ch’boy doesn’t go back on his word.” He presses his lips together. “And I— I’m gonna— it’s gonna be okay now?” 

Magnus’s brow furrows slightly. He knows if he presses, Taako won’t finish his thought. But it’s so hard not to. 

“You don’t have to worry about it happening again, I mean, ‘cause s’all good now.” 

Magnus frowns this time. “That’s what you’re worried about?” he asks, instead of telling him he knows he’s worried about something else, too, and he knows it. 

Taako swallows, blinks, then stills his face entirely. He brushes a thumb over Magnus’s cheekbone. “You know me, bubbeleh.” 

And that’s true, more than true, a facet of his whole life for so long. Even when he didn’t know, he knew, his hands brushing Taako’s in their bunk, his mouth on his in the wee hours on the Bureau quad, his soul reaching out for Taako’s with both arms and holding fast ‘til they were back on solid land, flesh or wood. And in that mannequin body, he felt it stronger than ever somehow. Taako, this endless force, this love that runs deeper now than he’ll ever understand. He still doesn’t now. And maybe, same as it’s always been, that’s okay. 

They lay there in silence for a long time, the only sound their quiet breathing and the tiny distant footsteps of one of the dogs downstairs. Magnus kneads little circles into Taako’s shoulder and Taako tucks himself closer into Magnus’s chest. 

He’s close to dozing off when Taako stirs slightly and takes a long, shallow breath.    
He stiffens under Magnus’s hand, and asks, “Will you tell me about Julia?” 

_ That  _ is the last thing he’d expected Taako to ask. What can he say about Julia? How can he tell the man that he loves so much, with all of himself, that he loves Julia in an entirely different, exactly-the-same way? That she was strong and bold and beautiful and radiant and kind, that he would have adored her, that everyone deserved a chance to love her? That Taako was robbed of her companionship and her joy and her heart that she would have shared so freely? 

Magnus’s throat suddenly feels tight. There’s no words for Julia. For his anger and sorrow at the universe for taking her from him, from all of them, so early. An injustice he could never get closure for, no matter how he tried to cope. All he can do is keep loving. 

“You woulda loved her, Taak,” Magnus says finally, tearfully. He rolls over to his nightstand to grab the chain with two rings, cradling the chain that pools in his hand. He holds it between them and gives Taako a moment before Taako reaches out to hold them, one silver and one wood. His voice is tight when he speaks again. “I carved hers, she forged mine.”

Taako just holds the rings in his hand, the chain slipping between his fingers, his eyes down on them instead of up at Magnus. 

“She was everything,” he says, because she was, because she still is. “I’m so sorry you didn’t get to meet her.” 

Taako’s hand closes and rests between their chests. Magnus presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

“She was so sweet, so pretty. And the biggest shit-stirrer in town.” Magnus laughs, but there’s an edge of bitterness that still marks even the fondest memories. And then, his eyes flood with tears, like they always do. “Oh,” Magnus breathes, and Taako just pulls tighter. 

Taako lets out a watery laugh and lets the chain fall back into Magnus’s hand, still not looking at him. “She had you beat for shit-stirrer? Wow.”

“I know, right? After all the shit  _ we  _ used to stir,” Magnus sniffs and laughs. “You, me, and Luce—” 

Taako stiffens under his hand again and a pang of panic (maybe, regret?) turns Magnus’s stomach. He’s afraid to say anything else, but Taako doesn’t either, not for a long time. 

And then, finally: “We did, didn’t we?” 

Taako’s voice sends such relief through his heart that it spreads through his veins to the rest of his body, followed closely by joy that casts all the grief from him and fills him with a century’s worth of elation. He rubs Taako’s back and his tears actually fall now as he grins. 

“Don’t go all soft and sappy on me now,” Taako says defensively, but Magnus can feel Taako’s heart unfurling under his ribs, finally, finally, after all these years, taking a tiny piece of what had once been and returning it to Magnus. “Lucy just wants me around for my tacos.” 

The three of them at dinner that night after he’d found them in the pocket spa, eating quietly, sure, but eating  _ together,  _ the three of them alone, really alone, for the first time since… 

“I think it might be more than that, but… they are pretty good.” 

“They’ve gotten me out of a jam or two.” Taako smiles against his skin. “Gotta send an interplanar thank you note to Joaquin, huh?” 

“Maybe we could— again—” 

Taako pauses, and the silence is so heavy. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Burnsides.” Taako shakes his head, but it’s not unkind. And Magnus thinks, maybe, it’s not impossible. 

“Did you guys…?” It’s silent now, and he knows Taako doesn’t have anything else to say about it, but gods he wants to  _ know.  _ Did they talk? Did they fight? Or is Taako just trying for him, for Angus, and he’s still hurting so deeply? 

Taako tucks himself into Magnus’s shoulder and pulls the covers up with a mage hand. When he looks up at Magnus, finally, there’s no answer to the question he’d asked. Just a close, quiet fondness. “We should sleep,” Taako whispers finally.

Magnus nods and settles against him. He’s momentarily restless with his thoughts, but as he reminds himself of the hope that had filled him at Taako’s mention of Lucretia, he closes his eyes and lets the sound of Taako’s meditative breathing lull him into the restful sleep he knows beside his love, something sacred and rare, something older and more natural than memory itself.

* * *

Taako lays motionless in the dark, listening to Magnus snoring, watching the moonlight crawl slowly over the wooden floor. Every time he closes his eyes, he feels the dry stone walls of the dungeon around him, feels the icy chill of Kalen’s voice scratching down his spine. There’s no sleeping like this, he knows, but he’s also afraid to move. Afraid that if he does, it’ll all be some dream from the Astral Plane, the memory of Magnus evaporating into the Sea of Souls with him, Taako’s skin still smelling of blood and ash.

He doesn’t know how long its been when he slowly parts from Magnus’s sleeping form, but he gets up and moves with care as to not wake him, gathering his clothes from the bedroom floor and dressing silently. He thinks to kiss Magnus’s forehead before he leaves the room, but he resists. 

When he gets to the living room, two of the dogs are asleep on the couch, another on the floor. One looks up and sees him standing there, then goes back to sleeping. Taako smiles; the dogs know him here. 

There’s lots of pictures in Magnus’s house. They’re in every room: all his friends, his family, his dogs, the places they’ve been. When he reaches the kitchen, there’s an old drawing of Magnus holding Lucretia. Taako looks at it for a long time. 

There’s no pictures of Julia in the house. There’s no pictures of Julia anywhere. Just the one that Lucretia gave to Taako, a moment frozen in time that he holds as gingerly as he’d cradled their wedding rings in his hand. 

Taako’s throat is tight as he walks through the kitchen. It’s not his kitchen, but there are pieces of him there. The butcher’s block and the big stovetop and the wide sink, built when they were apart, just in case Taako ever wanted to come home. And he did, oh, gods, he did. And he still does. He never wants to leave. 

He wishes it were a different house. A fuller one. But it’s an image he can’t quite reach. There’s not enough of Julia in his mind for a different future; only a time capsule cracked open for a brief, brilliant moment, just enough for him to snatch a small piece and tuck it away. 

He takes one of Magnus’s flannel shirts from a hook near the door and shrugs it on, putting his hand on the doorknob just as the sound of paws comes from the next room. He looks as Johann comes to the door, sniffing and nudging at Taako’s hand in Magnus’s sleeve. 

“Hey boy,” Taako says softly, scratching behind his ears. Johann licks his wrist and he doesn’t mind. “Keep an eye on Maggie for me, huh? I’ll BRB.” 

Johann nuzzles once more before lazily trailing back into the kitchen. Taako takes another look down the hall before gingerly opening the door and stepping out into the cool summer night. 

It’s a long walk through the Corridor to the town square. The Hammer and Tongs is no longer, but the Hammer and Tails stands instead, and as Taako passes it he smiles. Magnus is so good with them. So good at rebuilding this place from rubble into something so full of life again. 

When he reaches the square, he’s struck by how different it looks. Much of it, the part that leads to the Craftmen’s Corridor, has been rebuilt. But the fountain at the center still stands beneath the moonlight; Taako barely needs his night vision to take it in. 

He walks to the fountain and sits on the edge, dipping his fingers into the water and looking at the rippling reflections of the two moons. He wonders where Lucretia is, wonders if she’s okay, if she’s been able to sleep. But if he saw her now, what’s left to say? Something deep and harsh and afraid clamps down around his stomach. He suddenly feels exposed. Too embarrassed and vulnerable. His cheeks are hot as he withdraws from the fountain and looks down at the uneven cobblestones. For a moment, he’s screaming at the closed dungeon door. For another, he’s on the porch at Merle’s looking out at the water with her. His heart is withered, only halfway to healing. And he’s tired, and afraid, and wishing for second chances that will never come.  

When he looks up: a dogwood tree, grown taller and stronger than the one in Lucretia’s memory, but still there. And, miraculously, faithfully, blooming a second time in late summer. 

His feet carry him over before his heart is ready to go. And he’s touching the branches, and he’s looking for her bandana that he knows isn’t there, and he’s just trying to get as close to her memory as he can. Eventually he sits down beside the trunk, looking up at the pinkish white petals, running a hand over the rough bark. 

He swallows hard and, despite his sudden shyness, says, “Julia…” 

He immediately feels foolish for speaking to the empty air. A breeze stirs, though, and he closes his eyes and rests his head on the tree. Instead of shaking his fists at Istus or mentally cussing Kalen out for a millionth time, he’s suddenly just tired. Longing for Magnus’s warm body next to his again. 

He picks himself up and wraps Magnus’s shirt around him tight. Before he leaves, though, he reaches for a branch and plucks a flower to keep, tucking it into the front pocket of the shirt. He walks home through the empty streets, seeing the garlands, hearing the bells and the drinking songs Magnus spun his new bride around to, both of them laughing, the sound booming down the Corridor and into the blue sky. 

When he gets back home, he pads lightly through the kitchen, but stops by the staircase. And there, behind it, a door he found so long ago, that he’d hidden and chosen to ignore when he hurt so deeply but loved Magnus too much to let go. Lucretia has a room in his home, too; she always has, before any of themhad a home to begin with. Magnus has held them both in his heart for so long that the separation had been all the more painful. 

He pushes the door open to the small library. It smells like old books, mostly, and ink, and the warm wooden scent of Magnus’s handiwork. He stands in the doorway, debating whether or not to enter. It feels like taking something that’s not his. Peeking into a relationship he has no place in anymore. Or at least, he didn’t before. What are they, now? This whole separate piece of Magnus he’s turned away from, wishing it would disappear, would it fit back into place? 

He still doesn’t know that he wants it to. But he enters the room anyway and sits at her desk. There are two journals and two quills and two inkwells; but no spills, or papers, or crooked shelves, or tank, or Fisher. No writing to vandalize. No drawings to steal. 

Taako sighs and puts his heavy head into his hands. He feels like an intruder, still, and maybe he is. Maybe he shouldn’t be here. Maybe things are all they should be now, peaceful and apart. And Magnus can love them both, and Julia too, and have the happiness he deserves. 

But no, it won’t do, and he knows it. 

He takes the dogwood flower and leaves it on her desk between the journals, looking at them for a long time, as if they’re the components of a spell he hasn’t learned yet. 

By the time he stands up, the sun is coming through the big window and its seat. He sighs and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He sneaks back upstairs and strips off his clothes to crawl back into bed beside Magnus. His large form stirs under the quilt and he mumbles in his sleep as Taako tucks himself back under his arm. Taako cringes a little as Magnus snores a little, moves again, then murmurs, “Taak?” 

“Shush,” Taako whispers, kissing his warm cheek. “Go back to sleep.” 

“Mhm.” 

He turns again, and Taako does too, so Magnus can curl up and spoon him. Taako sinks back into his embrace and closes his eyes. “We talked,” Taako admits, so quietly that he’s not sure Magnus will hear. If he does, he doesn’t answer him. A rush of relief follows.

He wants to tell him why, wants to tell him Lucretia shared space in his head for days, wants to tell him about the precious images of Julia he has now. That the man who stole her from Magnus, from him, and from Lucretia, too, is gone now. And he’ll never take anything from them again. But Magnus is blissfully asleep and doesn’t even know Kalen’s name. Maybe that’s what’s meant to be.

“I love you,” Taako says into the silence, because what else is there besides that? And when Magnus is snoring again, and Taako’s eyes are finally heavy enough to remain closed, he drifts into a safe, steady sleep, dreaming of worlds long-forgotten and memories old and new, stolen and returned, borrowed and kept safe for the rest of their days. 


End file.
